Why do we, your parents and society, keep insisting the 20s are the best years of your life and that we would do anything to go back to being 25. Would we? Really now, would we?

Sure, it’s energizing and fun to be young. Your body runs on fumes without protest. Your eyes only crinkle when you laugh. The world stretches out before you, brimming with possibilities. How amazing! 

Or perhaps, how daunting?
Studies show people get happier as they age, peaking not at 20 or 30 but at around 70. Whaaat?

Yes, and it’s actually not surprising since you 20-somethings are faced with so much unknown and with limited life experience to draw from. You are figuring out what career might make you happy. You wonder if you will ever make enough money to support the life you want to lead, especially when the world is comparably more expensive than when your parents were your age. You might worry about finding “the one,” or what you even want in a one. And you’ve likely traded the comfort and routine of school for a much less structured, more confusing, and mostly unfamiliar world.  

So, what’s a 20-something to do? Spiral into a quarter-life crisis? Nah. An identity crisis won’t get you anywhere, instead, focus on building “identity capital”.  

What is Identity Capital?  

Identity capital is the most valuable asset you can build in your 20s. Think of it like savings—small, consistent investments now lead to long-term wealth. Except instead of money, you’re investing in skills and experiences.  

Here’s How to Build It  

1. Learn From Every Experience: Every job, relationship, or challenge offers lessons—if you’re open to them. Americans hold an average of 8.1 jobs by the age of 35 and often end up in jobs they didn’t even know existed when they were in college. Think about that: you don’t have to have it all figured out at 25. Try things to learn from them; even tough bosses or breakups can teach you skills for the future.
   Ask yourself:  
   • What can I take from this experience to make my next one better? 
   • What can this person teach me?
   • How can this prepare me for the person I want to become?  
     
2. Build New Competencies: Identify areas where you want to grow, then seek opportunities to fill those gaps. We always feel better when we feel capable.
   • Nervous about public speaking? Take a class.  
   • Want to boost your resume? Learn to code or publish an article.  
   • Struggle with time management? Tackle it now before bigger responsibilities pile up.  
   • If you feel frozen or scared, do something, no matter how small, to build a competence in anything! It is guaranteed to make you feel better about yourself.
     
3. Study People you Admire: If you dream of being a great leader in any industry, start observing the admirable people around you. 
   • Notice what makes them successful. 
   • Ask them questions and for advice.
   • Learn from the people who are acting and living like you ultimately want to act and live.

Why It Matters

Life’s responsibilities don’t get smaller. Rather, careers expand, families form, and challenges multiply as you get older. But if you spend your 20s building identity capital, you’ll have the foundation to handle whatever comes next with confidence, skills, and deeper self-awareness.  

Wait, maybe now I do want to be 25 again.